Yes aroutine is needed, my son.

Once againprograming simply tasks. Our son has, among things, allergies- which include aform of asthma/hay fever and eczema-  whichneeds constant attending to. In the understanding that personal hygiene is nota teenagers foremost thought, therefore it seems to be a somewhat onward battlebetween the mother and the child/almost adult himself.

Recently, Ibought a daily medicine box for him, with the abbreviation of each day on the 7covers, for his tablets which he has to take once a  day, it does proved to be a welcome addition becausehe can see if he has taken it, although during school vacations and weekends hehas a little trouble knowing what day it is.  Got to get him use to looking at the calendar,like his father. His father has it a little easier for his medication becauseevery 2 weeks on Tuesday a new medicine box is delivered by the pharmacy with afresh supply. The added thing about this is that the medication is placed in asting of bags with the date and time when each medicine should be taken.  Since the introduction of this form ofmedication dispensing he is happy to have it cause pill taking, being nobody’sgreat pastime, has been made a little bit easier for not only himself but alsofor me cause I was the one who had to keep tabs on the supplies.

Once againduring school vacations and weekend its plain to see that routines that workeasier when the routine of work/school are in the picture for some odd reason.Although it’s not fool proof because the constant vigilance is always needed.Still the main goal is that our son will soon be able to perform this simpletask without prompting.

I have betrying all kinds of ways to stimulating him without ‘stepping’ on his toes andgetting him angry which results that the goals are sometimes difficulty meet.

It seemsthat the lack of knowing what time or day it is as well as the understandingthat although it seems that his mother is constantly badgering him that it isfor his best interest. I must admit how to   gauge itaccording to his age and his ability and above it all to learn to trust himthat he can do it correctly is difficult. Especially when you’ve got a husband who, although never received professional guidancelike our son is getting from beginning when we discovered that autism was inthe picture, is very capable interacting with the outside world as well holdingdown a job, constantly keeps telling me, he’ll turn out alright. I will be thefirst to also admit that I tend to be a slightly over protected mother ,like allmothers are to a certain degree. Point is there are ‘things’ my husband just doesn’t‘see’. From the point when our son got tested as well as my husband, the famouspuzzle pieces were falling in to place for me and that puzzle being, my wantingto understand what was the underlining ‘problems’ in my relationship with myhusband. I will be the first to also admit that I tend to be a slightly overprotected mother like all mothers are to a certain degree. So watching both ofthem I constantly see the likeness en differences between what I called aschooled person with autism and one that is not.

Interestingis to hear from the same son who’s squeals when he feels I am badgering him thathe does admit that the degree of strictness that is present in his upbringinghe experiences as pleasurable because he is convinced he’ll do the same when hehimself becomes a parent one day.

If that isno confirmation for me as a parent about doing the right thing, what is?

On wardwe go.

After more than threeyears caring for my mother-in-law there is now more time to be able concentrateon my relationship with our son, with my husband and most important withmyself.

That lastrelationship is indeed the most important one cause it’s the foundation thatcarries the rest and everyone knows a building can only keep standing thru thetimes when the foundation is strong.

These days I amfollowing a DGT training [Dialectical Behavioral Therapy]cause I have thediagnose borderline. This training was made by Marscha M Linehan.[ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marsha_M._Linehan] Although I find the text that we have toread rather difficult to wrap my head around I find that in general I canunderstand it. It’s very theoretical instead of practical training.

Last year I have attended 3 sessions blocks of 6 encounters once every two weeks a psychodrama special formedfor partners who are in a relationship with someone who has an autism diagnose.

My experience is thatI learn more in the psychodrama because you are able to play out things in asafe environment this being that your surround by people whom are in thepredicament as yourself so the understanding is there.

Interesting is wellthat although there a recognised problem to be able to explain why an relationshipwith partner with autism is very different then a relationship with a person withoutautism that in the circle of families where autism is present that there is clear differencein the combination mother, autism in kids, and a non-autism partner and when sowell children and the partner have autism. 

This shows that every relationship on all levels aredifferent  and must be substantiveunderstood before that an equal judgment. The statement of mine what springs tomind is – read the book from cover to cover before judging it from only itscover.

First autism conference Alphen a/d Rijn

On the 26^th of  November from 10.00 to 14.00 in the council chamber of the City Hall in Alphena/d Rijn there will be an autism conference

Initiator Erik van Kampen [my husband ] 'as autistic andcouncil committee member, I see many changes and cuts ahead of us, which countsfor me is that the group of autistic people with average or high IQ, but alsoall others with mental disabilities who are not visible from the outside, aretaken seriously and being listened to this group".

In the afternoon, besides an introduction by the organizer of theorganization “autism and I”, (www.autismeenik.nl) there will be a  public explanation  about what exactly autism is and what itmeans to people, but also to their surroundings.

Then there will be a lecture based on twothemes: work and income, which will illustrate how things are  presently and what has to change/be changed if necessary.

After the break there will be a debateforum consisting of representatives from many different institutions and localexperts and a discussion with the audience in which  everyone will be able to ask questions ormake remarks.

Reason for this day is to promotecooperation between different professionals, employers, community and last butnot least the audience.

The municipality of Alphen aan den Rijn haspromised full cooperation, which means that they intend to be as serious as thefoundation “Autism and I” has been for years,

We hope for an ample participation and agood cooperation

Admission is free, Doors open at 09.30

Would you be so kind as to log on via theemail address aanmelden@autismeenik.nl indicating the number of peopleattending and whether you are a professional, a concerned relative/friend, or aspectator in any other capacity.

Even if you want to  participate in the forum , you can use theabove mentioned e-mail address.

We look forward to your presence!